


Wings seen with Holy Fire

by a_single_droplet_of_rain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Season/Series 08, Violence, Wings, canonverse, no smut yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-04-25 14:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_single_droplet_of_rain/pseuds/a_single_droplet_of_rain
Summary: Dean forgets he's wearing the sunglasses burned with holy fire. He didn't realize they would let him see Castiel's wings.





	1. Oak Trees and Withered Wings

**Author's Note:**

> I will put a list of trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter. They will apply only to the chapter they're assigned to.  
> -Reference to alcohol  
> -Mild language  
> -Description of injury: broken bones, cuts, etc.  
> -Gets kind of sad. Nothing that ruins their relationship or anything, just kinda sad.  
> -Mentions of war
> 
> I don't have a set schedule for updating, sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Reference to alcohol  
> -Mild language  
> -Description of injury: broken bones, cuts, etc.  
> -Gets kind of sad. Nothing that ruins their relationship or anything, just kinda sad.  
> -Mentions of war

Dean shuffled around in the trunk of the Impala, shoving bags and unloaded guns aside in hopes of finding the glasses.

 _Dammit._ He thought. _We need those for a case._ Sam had run across a few incidents in the neighboring town consisting of what looked like a few demon deals, and if they wanted to save any of the victims, they needed those glasses so they could see the hellhounds.

He spotted them under an old flannel jacket folded near the back. He grabbed them, tossing his bag packed with food and clothes in the trunk.

A dog started barking a few blocks away. Dean shivered despite the warm, early summer breeze. Whenever he saw a loose dog roaming around or anything that reminded him of that night, he could almost feel the hellhound’s claws tearing through his jacket, trying to drag him back into Hell. Dean turned away from the car. He needed to get his mind off the hellhounds and focus on something else. He knew there wouldn't be any hounds near here, but he slipped the glasses on, just in case.

He knocked over the gun propping the trunk open and walked back inside. Winding his way through the hallways, Dean ended up in the kitchen. He snagged a beer out of the fridge and slammed the door, popping the tab as he went in search of his friend.

“Cas?” He called out as he peeked into his own room, not knowing where he would be. Cas didn’t exactly need a bed, and he didn’t keep any clothing other than the trenchcoat. He didn’t have any personal belongings to put anywhere, if you don’t count the Angel Blade. So really, Cas didn’t _stay_ so much as _roam._

Eventually, he found Cas standing out back, overlooking the woods behind their cabin. Dean could find Castiel standing there most days. Cas just liked to take in every little detail; how the leaves would curl in on themselves and tumble through the air right before the first snowfall; how the squirrels would chase each other back and forth across one particular Oak tree every day; how the bird’s song would start the assembly line of the actions of animals trying to survive in an environment whose only objective to tear you apart when you take too long to get back up after it knocks you down.

Cas saw every detail. This was one of the reasons he loved humanity so much: he was able to see their tiniest actions, their most inconsequential thoughts, then piece everything together to see the grand outline of the human race. His father had said to love humanity more than they loved Him, and Castiel was the only angel to do exactly as he was told.

And yet he was standing here, on a hillside by a rundown cabin, beaten up and exhausted beyond belief. He did what he thought was best for every decision he made, and yet it wasn’t good enough for his father, for the other angels, for Sam and Dean, for himself.

Cas heard Dean open the door behind him. Heard his footsteps falter after two steps, didn’t hear the door close.

Dean stood frozen, screen door propped against his shoulder, not having had the chance to close because he had recoiled back in shock before it was able to slam shut.

Cas’s frame looked weak, washed out when seen alongside the wings that were held behind him. _They’ve been destroyed._ Dean thought bitterly, still standing in the doorway.

It wasn’t just the fact that they were almost mangled that scared Dean. Feathers torn and missing, bones twisted and crooked. Dean was no expert on birds, but he was pretty sure that Castiel’s wings had been permanently damaged a long time ago and hadn’t gotten the chance to heal. It wasn’t just the sight of them that made Dean feel sick and lightheaded. It was how Cas’s stiff movements and tight expression made perfect sense now. Every time he would turn his head or move an arm, his wings would shift on his back stiffly, not unlike how an elderly person would move an aching leg.

Cas sensed Dean’s heightened heart rate, his elevated levels of nausea. He turned towards Dean, and Dean immediately decided that he couldn’t let Cas know what he’d seen.

Cas was an angel of the Lord. He had fought in battles that had lasted longer than Dean had been alive. He had been strong enough to clutch Dean against his chest and lift him out of Perdition. But standing here, broken wings upon his back, it was clear exactly what Cas had been through. He had been betrayed by his own kin, fought his hardest to keep his friends safe, struggled with the weight of all the actions he hadn’t thought through, all the regrets that have accumulated over his lifetime, and yet he was still fighting to make it to the next day.

“Dean. Are you alright?”

Castiel was part of the Winchester family. Everyone in that family has secrets, and Cas was entitled to keep his own.

“Yeah, Cas. I’m alright.”

 

**A/N**

**Hiya. Do you guys want longer chapters? 900 words seems really short. I'll experiment with the next chapter and try to make it at least 1,500 words. Let me know what you think. I really appreciate the comments and kudos! ;P**


	2. Long Drives and Dark Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Mild language

Cas walked into the room just as Dean was packing the final few things for the case. Dean had removed the glasses and tucked them into the front pocket of his jeans.

“Dean, are you alright? You seemed rather uncomfortable a few minutes ago.”

Dean’s movements faltered, his mind rapidly switching back and forth between his options. “Yeah,” he made up his mind, “I’m fine. Allergies, you know?”

Cas narrowed his eyes slightly, not fully believing Dean’s response. “Ok, let me know if you want me to heal you of your... allergies.”

Dean said nothing, instead turning back to the bag he was packing. After a few minutes of unbroken silence, everything was ready and they were on the road.

It was just Dean and Cas on this hunt. Sam was back in Kansas, meeting with an old friend from college. How they still had each other’s phone number, Dean didn’t know.

“He’s trustworthy,” Sam had assured him. “He used to be a really good friend of mine.” Dean let him go, but because Sam was out of town, he needed someone else to watch his back on this case.

“Ready, Cas?” Dean asked as he started the engine. Cas nodded as the rumble of the engine mixed with the music coming from the stereo.

It was one of their longer longer road trips, almost 25 hours across the country, which meant at least 2 days driving. Cas suggested flying there, which Dean had been tempted to accept, but then he remembered the state of Cas’s wings.

“No!” Dean blurted out. Cas cocked his head to the side. “It would be faster,” Cas said slowly, clearly confused as to why Dean had refused.  
Dean struggled to find an answer that would appease Cas’s endless questions. “I… like road trips. A lot. All the time. Yeah...”

“Really...” Cas mused, “I never knew that. I knew you and Sam drive a lot but I never knew you enjoyed it.”

They let the conversation fade out after that, leaving only the classic rock songs blast though the stereo, as loud as ever.

It was five or six hours before Dean noticed Cas shifting back and forth in the passenger seat. He had a tight expression, like he was in mild pain but didn’t want anyone to notice.  
Dean glanced over, brows furrowed. Cas noticed his gaze and stopped his fidgeting, but it only lasted a few minutes before it started all over again.

 _Well, he doesn’t have to take a leak, he’s an angel, so it’s not that. Is he uncomfortable? Is it - oh. His wings._ Sitting in the car, his wings must be pinned between his back and the seat, which can’t have been comfortable. Dean pulled into the nearest gas station, shutting off the engine and unbuckling his seatbelt.

Cas started to get out, too, a grateful look on his face. Dean walked around the car to pump gas, saying as he went, “I’ll fill the tank, can you run in and get me a snack? See if they have pie!” Cas nodded, grabbing a few bucks from Dean’s wallet before turning and walking across to the tiny store.

Dean took the glasses out of his pocket and shoved them onto his face, holding them there as he watched Cas, whose face was turned away from Dean as he made his way to the front of the store. Sure enough, Cas was stretching his wings one at a time, slowly and tentatively, sure, but that seemed to be the problem. He had been cooped up in the car for too long and his wings were starting to cramp up.

Now that Dean thinks about it, Cas never joined the Winchester brothers on long road trips. He just zapped himself wherever he needed. He made a mental note to stop every few hours and make an excuse to get out of the car so Cas wouldn’t have to endure any more discomfort than he has to.

Dean was lost in thought by the time Cas returned, and didn’t notice the angel sidling up to stand by him, looking much happier now that he got a chance to get out of the car.

“Dean, why are you wearing the glasses?”

Dean jumped, hand flying to his face to rip off the glasses, stammering out excuses. “Uh - uh the sun was in my eyes, and - and, yeah.”

Cas cocked his head to the side. “But those are not sunglasses, Dean.”

Dean stood there, trying to come up with an answer, but gave up and snapped, “It’s about to get dark, let’s get back on the road.” Shrugging off Dean’s obvious subject change, Cas got back into the passenger seat and dumped the plastic bag full of snacks in Dean’s lap.

“What, no pie?” He whined as he peered into the bag, but his mood lifted as he saw a brightly colored package. “Awesome, twizzlers!” He exclaimed before tearing open the package and sticking three into his mouth. “Let’s go,” he mumbled around the snack.

Starting the engine up again, they were back on the road and made it a few more hours before Dean made a point of stopping again, this time for dinner. He made sure to get seats near the bar, so Cas could sit at the barstools and not have his wings pressed against the back of a chair.

They ordered beers and burgers, and dinner was going smoothly until a group of people walked right behind the pair. The group didn’t interact with either Dean or Cas, but Cas shuddered visibly and his hands clenched on the table. Due to the narrow walkway between the tables and the bar, the group of customers were almost brushing against Cas and Dean’s backs as they made their way to their own table.

 _Oh_. Dean put two and two together. If the car seat bothered Cas, that meant other things could make him uncomfortable, too. Like a bunch of adults walking through his wings. Dean made a point of not saying anything, instead turning back to his meal in silence.

Over the span of dinner, there were a few times that Dean noticed Cas’s knuckles turn white as waiters or waitresses passed behind him, so Dean tried to eat as fast as he could so they could get back in the car.

Not too much later, they signaled for the check. Visibly relaxing as soon as he stepped back into the cold air, Cas let out a sigh, breath clouding in front of him. Before he could start towards the car, Dean held out an arm to stop him in his tracks.

“You ok, man?” Dean asked tentatively.

Cas shuffled from foot to foot for a moment before admitting, “I wasn’t feeling great, but it is not of import.”

And with that, he pushed forward and walked to the car without a glance back. Dean rolled his eyes at Cas’s attempt at hiding his secret, but let it slide and followed him to the Impala. As they both settled in for another bout of driving, Dean checked his watch.

10:57

“It’s almost 11 now, we could probably fit another few hours in before finding a motel to crash in. We can drive the rest tomorrow, but I need my 4 hours.”

“Alright.” replied Cas. He let his gaze wander over to the window, streetlights casting light over his features every few seconds. Dean caught himself glancing over to Cas every once in a while, watching how the orange light made the lines around his eyes more prominent, but noticing that they didn't make him look older, in fact, he looked quite —

Nope.

_Stop it, Dean. It’s weird to think of Cas as attractive. He’s an angel, he doesn’t even have a real physical form, he’s just wavelengths or radiation or whatever._

He must have looked angry, because Cas looked over at him questioningly. Dean forced himself to relax, muttering, “It’s nothing.”

“Alright, Dean.” Cas turned back to the window, and Dean no longer noticed how the streetlights would make the tips of his hair shine a luminous gold, or how Cas still sat stiffly, no matter how much he was able to get out and stretch his wings.

Dean drove until he could barely keep his eyes open. Yawning, he pulled into the closest motel, fumbling with his seatbelt and grabbing his overnight bag from the trunk. He walked with Cas to the lobby, forgetting that Cas didn’t need to sleep.

“I’ll get a double room.”

The receptionist looked mildly surprised. “Double? You two had a fight or somethin’?”

Dean tried to piece together what she was trying to say, but lack of sleep made his brain foggy and muddled. “Uh… no…?” Noticing he was leaning against Cas’ shoulder to keep himself from falling over, he quickly straightened up and stepped away from Cas.

The woman still looked puzzled, but she continued prying as she grabbed the key to their room. “How long you two been together?”

“Four years,” answered the angel. The corner of his mouth was turned up in a tiny smile, like he was remembering when they first met in that barn.

Dean closed his eyes for a moment, silently cursing Cas’ naiveness as he finally understood what the lady was getting at. “We’re not together,” he clarified, “what my _friend_ here means,” he glared at Castiel, “is that we’ve known each other for four years.”

“Oh.” She looked a bit embarrassed, but recovered quickly. “Well, how’d you two meet?”

“He stabbed me,” Cas answered seriously. The receptionist looked horrified before Dean defended himself. “It was an accident!” He lied.

The lady looked like she was about to ask for the rest of the story, so Dean grabbed the key off the counter in one hand and the collar of Cas’ coat in the other, dragging him to their room. He shut the door firmly behind them, throwing his bag on the bed.

_God, I hope she doesn’t have a shift tomorrow morning. I do not want to run into her again and risk her asking about us again._

He quickly showered, dressed, and got ready for bed. He walked back into the room to find Cas sitting on the couch, staring out the window, despite it being pitch black outside.

Finally remembering that Cas is indeed non-human, Dean groaned and smacked his forehead with an open palm. “Damn, I forgot you don’t sleep. Sorry.”

Cas looked over at Dean. “I could try to sleep, since you already paid for this bed. I’ve never tried before, but I think I could manage.”

“Wait, I thought angels didn’t need sleep. Like, at all.”

Cas nodded before responding, “That is true, yes, but we do not require food either, and yet you have seen my brother Gabriel eat lots of food in your past run-ins.”

Dean contemplated that for a while, before agreeing. “Yeah, you could try to sleep. Just don’t ask me to tuck you in or kiss you goodnight.” With that, he turned to his own bed and crawled under the covers. Cas copied him, still wearing his trenchcoat, and Dean sat up.

“Cas, you should probably lose the coat to sleep. It won’t be very comfortable. It’s also kinda weird to sleep in a dress shirt, tie, and shoes. Just sayin’.”

Castiel blinked. “What should I wear instead?” Dean looked around, finally settling his gaze on his overnight bag. He reached over and grabbed a soft T-shirt, tossing it over to Cas.

“Go change, and then brush your teeth.”

Cas nodded, walking over to the bathroom.

“And take off your socks, too!” Dean added as the door closed. He sat back against his pillows, closing his eyes. _Cas is going to be sleeping in my shirt. My clothes._ His chest felt warm, and so did his face. He shook his head. _I need to stop thinking about this. He doesn’t like me like that, anyway._ He told himself.

 _I don’t like him like that either_ , he added as an afterthought.

The bathroom door opened, and Cas stepped out, with mussed hair and a slightly baggy Metallica shirt, and boxers. Dean inhaled sharply before forcing himself to turn away, instead focusing on turning off the bedside lamp.

“Okay, goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

A few minutes went by before Cas sat up and spoke into the silence. “Dean, I may need help.”

Sighing, Dean spoke into the pillow that his face was resting against. “Just… close your eyes, and try to stop thinking.”

Dean couldn’t see Cas, but he imagined that he had just cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. “It is not possible to stop thinking all together, though.”

“I dunno man, just try to slow down your thinking, then. Try to to let your brain go in a bunch of different directions. Get in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and let yourself fall asleep.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem, man.”

Dean waited a few minutes, seeing if Cas would ask him something else, but after a few minutes, Cas’ breathing began to slow. Thankful that he fell asleep relatively quickly, he closed his eyes as well and let himself sink into the mattress.

 

Dean was woken in the middle of the night by the sounds of someone crying out, and he shot out of bed, ignoring the headache he got because he stood up too fast. He relaxed slightly when he realized it was just Cas, but he started to worry when he saw that the angel was sitting with his back pressed up against the headboard, knees drawn tight to his chest.

His chest was heaving, face pale, and his eyes were wide and glassy.

“What happened, Cas?” Dean asked tentatively. “Nightmare?”

“I… I don't know.” Cas admitted, voice trembling. “I was awake and then I was back in heaven and -”

He left the sentence fade out. Dean felt a pang of sadness in his chest, moving to sit on the edge of Cas’ bed.

“Do you think you could try to sleep again?”

Cas looked at him, scared. Dean had never seen Cas this vulnerable before.

“Will that happen again if I sleep?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.” Dean replied softly.

“...Would it be okay if I slept with you?” Cas asked, almost inaudibly. “I heard that sleeping with someone you trust can help with nightmares.”

Dean answered before he had thought it over. “Of course, Cas.”

Cas smiled gratefully and stood up slowly. Dean crossed over to his own bed, now both of theirs, and lifted the covers, crawling in. He held up the covers for Cas, but he shook his head. “I think I’d prefer sleeping above the covers.”

Dean almost hit himself on the head again. _Duh, the covers would bother his wings. Stupid._ “Right,” he nodded, crawling out from under the covers himself and settling in.

Cas shifted around on the bed for a bit before opting to lay on his stomach, head pillowed on one of his arms.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean swallowed, trying not to think about how Cas was sharing his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and Dean’s shirt.

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Dean made sure to stay awake longer this time, to make sure that Cas fell asleep and didn’t have more nightmares. He couldn’t help but wonder what exactly Cas had been dreaming about that had scared him so badly -

Cas rolled over in his sleep, draping one of his arms across Dean’s torso unintentionally. Dean tensed, having half a mind to throw off his arm, but he couldn’t bring himself to wake the angel.

Cas nuzzled his head into the crook of Dean’s neck, letting out a contented sigh.

 _You know what_ , Dean thought, his heart thrumming happily, _I don’t mind this._

When they woke up, they didn’t mention that they had had their legs tangled together, or that Dean had curled his arms around Cas, or that Dean had woken up at some point feeling as though something that felt like a blanket had been draped over him, even though they slept on top of the covers.

“Did you have anymore nightmares?” Dean asked over breakfast.

Cas smiled at him thankfully, eyes lighting up. “No.”

 

 **A/N: For those of you who didn’t realize, that “warm thing that felt like a blanket” was Cas’s wings, though they weren’t manifested.** Sorry **this took so long to post, but I’m in a production and it’s Tech Week (AKA Hell) and I’ve had no time.**


End file.
